Monkey Salad
Can this be over yet?
That has been my anthem all week long. I mean, really. The Whole 30 takes way too much planning, focus, and effort. I’m exhausted. And to all the crusaders, get a grip before you jump all over me and let me finish. I guarantee there is no way you are keeping this up 100% for the rest of your life, so relax. For those not “in” it, this is what I’m talking about. Apparently the Whole 30 attracts those that like to take things to extremes. You know the ones: the crossfit-ers, that Paleo-ers, the always-selling-something types, the quote-the-bible-all-day-long peeps, etc. It’s their way or the highway. Yes, I’m aware I’ve probably insulted about half of you. I. DON’T. CARE. Thing is, I don’t believe in extremes. Everything in moderation. I finally lost it when someone on a Whole 30 thread was beyond critical of another participant who’d confessed she was enjoying an “approved” treat a little too much. Wow. How does that saying go again? Act your age, not your shoe size? How about encouraging words instead of a “how dare you” lecture? That was just one instance, but “Whole-30-or-die” is a very common sentiment across the board and I hate it. Then again, it seems this week I hate everything.
Starting Week 3, I felt energized and focused. I continued to work my way through the program no matter what obstacles came my way. I decided to make a “non-approved” addition to my mornings. Gasp! I bought freshly made green juice from Jugo Fresh. The horror. Let’s see; the person at the store took the apples, celery, kale, spinach, parsley, and lemon and juiced it right before my very eyes. Simple, but so not Whole 30 approved since you are supposed to “chew your food.” #SorryNotSorry It’s a good thing I bought just a couple of these “just in case.” The following morning I had an emergency and had to rush out of the house barely out of my pajamas, but not before I grabbed my juice to go. Phew! I don’t see the harm in this as an occasional m.o. I added a handful of nuts to meet the fat required and voila! Done. The juices might also be helpful given my veggie-for-breakfast aversion, although that’s greatly improving. I finally found sausages that work. The mornings have started to look up!
Midweek, however, I woke up in a daze similar to the one I had on Week 2. Oh no, here we go again. This time I also had a headache. By lunch time, I was ready to kill anyone who got in my way of food. The hunger wasn’t just hunger; it felt as if my life depended on it that very second. I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I felt tightness in my chest all the way up to throat. Give me food…now! Given the program is not really snack friendly, I was trying my hardest to just do the suggested three full meals spaced apart just right. My schedule doesn’t always agree with this rule. Sometimes, if I have lunch at noon, there’s no feasible way for me to have a 5 pm dinner with life happening around me: work, errands, kids, homework, deadlines, etc. Did I mention I’m also packing and moving? Thankfully, I found out that mini-meals (following the template) are allowed for these situations as well as fruit snacks or Lara Bars. Hallelujah. Game changer! This is precisely what I needed; waiting seven to eight hours to eat dinner was not OK.
I found myself wondering about what I would do when it’s over. Truth be told, I’m shocked that I have survived without wine, cheese, desserts, and bread. Whole 30 hasn’t been a walk in the park, but I thought it would be worse. I’ve barely thought of the food I usually love. By the end of this third week, I started to feel anxious over not working out yet. There just hasn’t been much me time. Was this the beginning of the tiger blood the book mentions should be arriving right about now? Why was I day dreaming about waking up Monday morning to work out at 5 am? If you know me, you know that is NOT something I dream about. Ever. Turns out, I didn’t…but did start Week 4 with a 7:30 am workout. Wow. Where is Brenda and what have you done with her?
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